A second chance ....

As the fourth and final day drew to a close ... mit came back to life !!! During the last week we had our 1st sessionals and cause i am in biomed i had to give 8 exams in 4 days ... of which i only gave a small percentage of ... due to some unforeseen circumstances like high fever,cold,cough and mind fuck !!! so after 4 days of torture for people i know i cud finally hear ppl making plans .... thinking where to party and how much to drink !!! manipal at its best again ... woohoo !!!

i didnt really feel like doing anything after the sessionals ended cause i was still not well plus i was disappointed by the way they went, so thursday was spent day dreaming and listening to music !!! From friday the whole schedule started once again with monotonous classes and those boring lectures !!!

in the evening suddenly i got this call from a fren saying that some of her frens from back home were in manipal to see her,she cooked up a plan so that her new frens cud meet her old frens and all of us could party together !!! so we met "these people" and then decided to go to sky lounge ... a lounge bar in good ol manipal !!! started with old monk and hookah .... moved on to grooving with the ladies ... more old monk ... and some more hookah !!! fun fun fun ... got out of tht place after 12.30 and then walked till deva's (good cheap food in the middle of the night) going via the venugopal temple ... some of the guys even climbed the mock elephants in front of the temple and got pics clicked !!! well when we got to deva's found out that it was closed and then headed for press cart (another place to eat !!!) ... so just hung out at mic and ate the bun omelets we got packed ... later headed to the hotel where these people from out of town were staying ... left them and the chicks over there and then walked back to ma hostel !!! slept at 4.30 am and then did go for class on sat morning ...

just went for class ... came back ... did some wellapanti ... looked at some stuff .... saw the rain fall ... time pass basically !!! got a call again in the evening ... so we met up once again and headed for the food fest at valley view ... the food fest was pretty decent with very original and tempting drinks and mughlai cuisine !!! after the food fest headed to edge to dance the night away ... met a lot of people i knew ... drank a lot ... grooved a little !!! after getting out of there started walking back when it started raining ... got all wet but made it back to the night canteen ... gobbled up all that we cud and got some stuff for frens ... on the way saw the india vs pakistan match of the 20:20 world cup where india kicked aussie ass !!! die bitches die ... came back to my room ... saw these movies ... sicko and sunshine !!! finally got tired and went off to sleep at 6 in the morning ....

was woken up at 11.50 by people banging at my door ... ppl rushed in ... made me brush ... change and leave !!! where were we going ??? turtle bay came the reply (a private resort about 1.30 hours from manipal by car !!!) met up with the whole grp at tc ... got a taxi and somehow packed everyone (9 of us) in that small omni !!! the trip to the resort was interesting ... with things flying around ... experiences shared ... pics being taken ... we even stopped at a roadside dhaba and had a mouth watering lunch !!

finally after driving thru picturesque locales and roads battered by the furious indian monsoon we got to the beach ... and headed straight into the water ... started playing football,sun bathing on the beach,pushing each other into the water,climbing rocks ... the kind of random fun associated with going to the beach !! then everyone climbed to the top of this rock and just sat .. smoked a few cigs and enjoyed the view !!!

well as random a thing it is ... it started raining ... so people pushed off to hide the bags in shade or just get some cover !!! i tried asking people if they wanted to go into the water and swim as far as they could ... fortunately no one agreed cause the sea was freakishly rough with 10 feet high swells of water and raining heavily... plus the beach was rocky and rocks underneath the surface of water are a major concern !!

As no one agreed , i decided to test myself and went into deep water all alone ... impervious to the cries of concern from my frens ... all i could think of then was that i was a god and gods don't die ...(there's a reason behind that thought which i would not like to mention ) plus i always wanted to do something like this ever since i saw this movie gattaca !! well i kept on going into deeper water and more deeper water ... finally i was getting dragged in and the waves were so strong that they started bashing me against the rocks underneath the surface .... i could barely keep afloat and was spending most time underneath the surface ... all i could think of at that moment was how do i get out of this ?? uttered cries of help but my frens were just stuck there and they were as helpless as i was with no rescue equipment or lifeguards anywhere !!!

i started swimming but it didnt really help cause i was using up my energy and tiring my body ... and still wasnt getting anywhere except being dragged in deeper by the strong currents !!! my only shot at surviving this self created ordeal were the rocks near by but i was concerned about the force i would hit the rocks with cause of the current behind me ... the last thing i wanted was to be knocked out and washed away !!

its really strange how the human mind works in a situation like this ... every second seems like an eternity ... u can feel the blood racing and every molecule of oxygen being used to create energy !!! all i kept telling myself was that i was that this was not my time to die and i will live on ... felt a bit of that survivor spirit from the time i met with this car accident when i was in 2nd grade (my first life threatening incident!!!)...

so well then i went in for the rocks with my hands in front of me and my head tucked back to save it from any eventuality ... the water got me close to the rocks... tried grabbing the rocks but all i could touch was the algae growing on em ... this happened twice before i could finally grab hold and pulled my self up ... my next concern was to move up and save myself from the huge quantities of angry sea water hitting the rock ... got some energy and did that ... as soon as i knew i was safe and mostly alive ... just hit the floor and took in deep breaths .... you dont know what life is unless you see death in person !!! by this time my frens got to the rock and helped me back to the beach ... where i got a lot of lectures ... loads of emotional blackmail and a truck full of frowns ...everything i deserved for being an ass and trying out a crazy stunt like that !! i had a body full of bruises cause of the rocks and just felt a lil dazed ... just lay down on the beach ... looked at the sky and the eagles flying up there ... lit up a cig and took the smoke in ... thanked god for being alive and started singing in my mind ....

the journey back was less eventful ... just stopped in the way once to get chilled beer ... got back to manipal when amby found out that his phone was missing ... a few phone calls and running around got his phone back !!!

came back ... just took a shower ... cleaned up my wounds and had dinner !!! too tired to even think ... but i dunno why i had this sudden urge to write this blog !!!

life is precious ...
life is good ....
and as long as you have it ... respect it
you might only understand it when you're dead ...
but whats the point in being dead so soon ???

so here i am still alive ... kinda shaken up in a good way ... felt a tinge of energy coming back into my body ... gonna make something out of it ... at least thats what the plan is !!!

p.s: that movie gattaca is once sexy movie ... if sci fi is ur thing u have to see it !! the tagline of the movie is .... "There is no gene for the human spirit."

p.p.s : i still love the sea ...

p.p.p.s : we're all star dust and one day we shall go back to where we came from ....

cya ... gnight ... peace


As jim put it once ....
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
Ill never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...strangers hand
In a...desperate land

Are we there yet ??

the sessionals are almost here and the rain symbolises the "mood" everyone is around here in MIT ... everyone's tensed and working pretty hard !!!

on the other hand yours truly is just working some math problems lazily ... listening to music ... talking to frens back from the states for 2 weeks (darn ... why cant i meet her ?? ) ... doing random personality tests on facebook (yes i am over friendly and ya i am laid back when it comes to relationships ... knew all that but its fun when u got nothing to do !!!) ... its not like i aint got anything to do ... got loads to study but dont feel like (story of my life since i came here !!!)

there's something in the air over here which makes me lazy beyond measure ... all i feel like doing is spending money ... doing crazy things ... hanging out and meeting new ppl !!! going for a walk ... sitting and star gazing in the valley ... going to the beach ... bakchodi in general (blogging = bakchodi ... how about bakchodi.com or something ???)

best part of any day is the hang out time with the brotha-hood !! the brotha-hood had dinner today at lc (u get the most awesome chicken macaroni at this place ) ... took us like 40 mins to reach this place today thanks to the rain and the fact there was only one umbrella for 5 ppl ... time was spent standing in the shade doing bakchodi ... taking intros from the facchas and smoking !!(the campus is a no smoking zone btw !!! ) the sista in the brothahood wasnt there today cause she was busy working but we were joined by an acquaintance ...

came back and chewed black pepper like a squirrel picking nuts (my throat and nose were completely blocked before this !!!) felt so much better (god bless my dad and these home remedy things !!) ... worked for 2 hours (a record ... almost done with interpolation)

why does she think that i am playing games with her ?? ok so u want to meet me and i want to meet you ... u canceled yesterday .... did i complain ?? i overslept and couldnt make it to breakfast .. so what ??? makes her think that i hate her or something and she's my personal fuck up project or something ... girl trust me i dont even think about it that much (i dont think at all and if u dont use ur head u cant really fuck up sum1's life can u ???)... we had something special in the past but u went ahead and fucked it up ... i played my part too ... but i am over it ... TRUST ME !! I'm free and freedom is the taste of reality babiiii ... ahh well women will be women especially the ones u share history with !!!

well here i am eating hide n seek biscuits (food orgasm .... ahhh !!!! ) while listening to the doors and thinking about the most random stuff ... 9th block ppl dont have net again ... woohoo !! tenth block rules ... what was the name of that song again ?? china needs to ease up to the idea that we are better ... make bono the UN secretary general ... Musharaf the new lalloo ??? I want a bike !!! when will saturday come ??? Bohemian rhapsody ???

crazy shit ...

btw that amriki returned fren gave me 2 good ideas today ... first : go to the valley ... close my eyes and think about what i really want ... and 2nd : that if i dont get married (so obvious !!! ) i shud adopt a kid considering i have so much love to give ... but am i sane enough ?? actually adoption has crossed my mind before and i think its something everyone whether u are married or single ... have kids or not think about ... there's nothing better than giving a kid a future !!! atleast someone somewhere will remember u after u'r gone for making their world a better place !!!

well thats it for today ... gotta start working now ... a lil more math followed by network analysis !!!

cya ... gnight ppl ... peace

The "Brotha - Hood"

there was once a boy who shifted to this new place cause he needed to go college ... a place where people were strange and appearances very deceptive !!! he thought he met people he could spend the rest 4 years with ... but it wasnt meant to be !!! 1st sem was confusing and it left him dark and weird .... people are not what they show to be .... people can be mean ... people dont like different people ... people will never understand him !!!

his life was covered by mystery and shrouded with sorrow ... until the sun came out of the clouds and he met his true frens !!!

the first he met on the football field ... a guy with a big ass and an even bigger smile to match ... the weirdest conversations followed and they ended up hanging out !! he's a kid at heart .... does stuff people take his case for ... but wht matters is whats on the inside ... and he cares like shit for everyone and anyone ... got one of the biggest hearts a man can have .... maybe the way he's so tall and broad helps !!!! the doc ordered him to quit ... he quit ... a year ? a month ? a week ... probably a day !!! has play boy potential ... lets see !!! brings out the kid in me ... days have been spent explaining him stuff .... but i enjoy him for that cause when u talk to him about stuff, u learn much more about thyself !!!

the next guy he met was thru that other guy ... a master of deception and a follower of the ninja way he is the "commando" .... for whom the sky is the limit and no adventure too difficult !!! he is the power in the group ... the strength the muscle the raw human tendency to survive !! a pro at the art of changing topics and kicking ass .... he is best known for his weird sleep cycles and the way he says "what up " ... a guy who knows how to party and how to live his life .... his head always keeps on moving, thinking about a million things at the same time ... he is man and machine ... power extreme (i love cartoon network!!) he makes hanging out special ... my inspration to always be excited by the smallest of things ...

the third guy he met was at the bb court at kc ... with the full moon out and the stars shining, he met him while the guy was lets say "high" (this is manipal u know !!!) ... a person who had been there done that ... easy going fella who doesnt say no to anyone or anything !!! he's at the fore front of trying crazy stuff and doing bakchodi .... always makes u laugh when u are mad and gives u a good song to sing when u have none ... the ultimate "joint" maker who believes being a drummer is his true calling .... he's always high on life and never gets blown away by either failure or discouragement ... brings in a flavour or might i add a zest for life !!!! the major of mayhem ... and the guy who brings out the rebel in me .... my inspiration for destruction !!!

These people including me constitute the brotha-hood .... a group of frens .... no i say family !! we are together for now ... i hope it lasts but if it doesnt i will never forget the days spent together cause they were truly special and life would have been so much emptier without the lessons i learnt from being with these people ... they honour me by even considering me to be even in the same league as them !!! they are my heroes, my gods and my inspiration ... love ya guys !!

p.s : i'll like to talk about sum1 else too who is close to me ... this guy is the "shit" ... we share many similarities ... a person who can drink 5 days in a row and still say that he didnt have enough to drink for the last few days ... knows what he wants in life and i'm sure he'll get it ... has the right stuff if u say what i mean to make it !!! he's doing good ... working hard ... the thing i like about him the most is the way he doesnt care a fuck about anyone except for family and close frens ... the way he sets priorities and makes the right decisions without thinking too much ... a fellow believer of the "not to get too involved with women " policy of thinking ... and i hope we get to know each other better ...


God bless u all

Peace

Every soul has its song ...

Here are some songs i like to listen to when i'm thinking or while i'm sleeping, about to sleep (i sleep with my ipod/laptop on and the earphones in my ear) or while singing them loud on the street irritating people or just songs i sing with frens !!!

I'm a big music buff ... and have a respectable music collection and taste !!

so here goes ... spreading the seed of good music !!! I'll mention the artists/albums ... songs are too many

Karunesh ( German guy does awesome world music shit )
The World's Greatest Trance (An album having 3 cds and scintillating tracks )
Chemical Brothers ( Songs like "the test" and "hey boy hey girl " are my favs )
Ministry Of Sound (Largest collection of kick ass musicians )
Infected Mushrooms ( Deeply Disturbed ... another fav)
Lounge Couture Vol1 and Vol2 (when working or just doing math)
Bob Sinclair ( World Hold On .... la la la )
Benny Benassi ( Have you seen the video for satisfaction ??)
Darude (Sandstorm ... one of the first tracks of the genre that i ever heard !!!)
Enigma (The pioneers ???)
1200 mics (heard hashish ???)
Skazi (XTC and Guitar Trance are killer )
Death In Vegas (Scorpio rising ?? Was introduced to them by some one special !!!)
Bob Marley (The most chilled out dude ever .... no woman no cry , dont worry be happy !!!)


AC DC (killer heart stopping head banging music and vocals )
Aerosmith (steven tyler is the scream king!!!)
Beatles (Started getting them pretty late ... but no1 close to defining life than them )
Black Sabbath ( Ozzy ... the son of the devil ... need more reasons ??)
Bob Dylan ( meaning depth and a soul )
Bruce Springsteen ( the boss with songs that make you think)
Bryan Adams ( Here I Am !!!)
Coldplay (the yellow scientist trying to reach the speed of sound )
Deep Purple ( Smoking the water while walking on ...)
Dire Straits (Mark Knopfler is god ... bless me father )
Dream Theatre ( A Change of seasons is enough to pull me under ... )
Eagles (Hotel California ... that eternal classic )
Eminem (Angry Young Man ...)
Elvis Presley ( The king of the pelvic thrust and jailhouse rock !!!)
Frank Sinatra ( Strangers in the night ...)
GnR ( 2 sad that they dont get along anymore ... one of the most complete bands ever !!!)
Iron Maiden ( Been there ... Done that ... the legend lives on )
Jimi Hendrix ( Babaji ki jai !!!)
Joe Satriani ( 2nd babaji ... God bless him !!!)
Johnny Cash ( Hurt ....)
Led Zeppelin ( Kashmir ... Stairway to Heaven ... No Quarter ... Every good thing comes to an end)
Linkin Park (Dont listen to them that much anymore ... but they were part of the learning curve)
Megadeth (Dave Mustaine has balls ...)
Metallica (My first band ... Will always love em !!!)
Nirvana (KC ... loved by many ... loathed by loads ... still my hero ... Says it as it is )
Pearl Jam (The lyrics, The vocals , The kick ... Killer !!!)
Pink Floyd (I owe so many memories and great times to this band ... Love is too small a word)
Queen (I will break free by being a champion)
Rage Against The Machine (Fighting the man ...)
RHCP ( Californication ....)
Santana (Awesome guitarist)
Simon And Garfunkle (The sound of silence)
The Who (Who ?? The guys behind my generation and behind blue eyes !!!)
The Doors (Jim Morrison is still alive ... crazy shit which makes more sense than the world around us )
Van Halen ( right now ???)


There are many more songs and artists which i absolutely love ... but due to space constraints and the fact that i need to sleep ... this is it !!!

always wanted to do something like this ...

if u need any help getting this music or wanna talk about music or just listen to music together .... contact moi !!

music is my thing ...

Peace ... Rock On

p.s : in memory of the great musicians , the people who introduced me to them , the net and this habit of trying to impress a girl by listening to what she listens to !!!

The first post ....

whats with life anyways ??? u enter the world with nothing but those puny hands and those clumsy legs, a brain which is nothing but the perversion of all things "human"
you live for people around u always ... parents,friends,acquaintances,teachers,bosses .... since the day we are born we are told to get this get that ... rather searching for our
own happiness we are forced to enslave ourselves to the idea of making everyone else happy !! get good grades, get a six figure pay packet, look good ... does
anyone ever come to you ... to ask you what do u want ??

biggest problem ever ... do you really know what you want ??? we are fed these lies ... these ideas on how to live our lives ... they tell us we were born for a reason
some great special thing that we are born to achieve ... makes us feels like kings,queens, rockstars, actors ... whtever !! and then life rolls by ... you find out you're anything
but special ... just a loon trying to justify an existence which is anything but great ??

i once had an idea about what i wanted to do ... what i really wanted to be ?? but that all changed ... maybe it was the world around me or the world inside of me ...
there was this ticking time bomb which just went off ... whatever i was doing just had no reason at all .... some call it complacency ... others call it ineptitude or maybe i am
just too lazy for the world ...

frankly i dont work cause i dont find a reason to work ... i'm supposed to be doing an engg ... wasnt it a science ?? am i not supposed to think ??? but no they come and fuck
that up to ... just memorise that ... do that .. do those boring assignments again and again ... no respect for thinking out of the box ... no alternative but to mimic what they teach !!!
learning from teachers who are fed up with their own lives and about what they are doing and why they are doing it ??

the world is where it is right now ... people dying of hunger even thou there is enough food ... disease even thou there are enough drugs to fight them ... terrorists who think that
they have a point to prove by creating senseless chaos and terror in the minds and hearts of the people they dont even know !! politicians,statesmen,diplomats whose only goal in
life is there 5 minutes of fame and a huge bank balance !!!

why are we here ?? cause no one knows what they are doing ... every one is living an illusion ... people who believe this illusion are mind fucked all the time but they refuse to see it ...
their life and there blood is being sucked by this unknown leech but they refuse to get out of this dream ... a nightmare !!! they know that if they stir things up ask questions ... all they
are ever going to get are skeletons out of the closet and the very foundations their lives are made on are going to crumble !!!

some say they do it for love , for the greater good ??? what does love give us any ways ... more pain more suffering !! almost all of the atrocities the world has ever seen have been
carried out in the name of love ... love is what tortures us ... ever twisted and turned and not being able to sleep when u had a crush ??? have you never seen people kill other people
just cause they love their country creed or religon more than others ?? love is what binds us and it is what separates us !!!

i once loved too ... atleast i thought so !!! i'm incapable of it ... there are days when i feel that i want to feel that feeling again !! to get back that ability to like some one ...
but no ... what i really want now is to be cold so that nothing bothers me nor pleases me ... so that i can be one with all yet not be with any1 ... so that all men can count me to be with them
but none too much !!!

all i want is peace ... ever lasting peace ... not for me ... but for everyone !!! but is that what i truly want ??

all i know for sure is that i am confused right now ... maybe its the feeling of the exams approaching ... maybe the feeling of being alone is on this planet of 6 billion people ..

what am i living for ?? the music still keeps me here ... thats all

just a free man with nothing to lose ...